How to Deal with Wannabe Weed Gurus and Bud Pic Trolls

*UPDATE JAN 12, 2017 :: BEWARE OF WANNABE WEED GURUS AND BUD PIC TROLLS ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Fake Weed Pics Exposed!

Social media is going viral with fake edited photographs of buds and flowering plants. Most often placed along with the text “What would you name this…”, or set as the profile picture of a fake social media account. Take a close look at this cannabis picture

fakebud

Notice how the plastic bag is tinted green/blue and the wooden table is is flecked with purple colors. This color-change trick can effortlessly be done in a photo editing program with a few simple presses of the keyboard and clicks of the mouse.

These tricks are most commonly done by adjusting the hue, vibrancy, contrast and brightness of photos in an computer photo editing program.

While much of weed photo-editing is done in good fun, phony bud pics have been going viral lately and judging by the comments people post, many eyes believe these buds to be the real deal. Trolling the weed scene with fake bud pics is getting annoying, and someone has to call BS.

You can see how easy it is for any halfway-computer-literate person to edit the color of buds below. ▼▼▼

wannabechart

Don’t put up with bozos trying to promote themselves with fake buds. Share this pic and call out the phonies.

What to do in the case of a wannabe weed guru encounter::

If you’ve ever been in a social setting with cannabis enthusiasts, chances are you’ve met someone who knows everything about weed.

wonka
We’ve all been there…

You’ve just had a great harvest – yielded heavy, buds finished up hard and dank, and the flavor is on-point. The dry and cure went well, and now you want to share some with a group of people you just met at a party.

Guess what?

A ‘Wannabe Weed Guru’ is jealous, and in their spite they will assert themselves to look like a better, more professional grower, despite the fact that they do not have any weed of their own to offer.

Here’s a few helpful tricks for dealing with these “gurus”.

  • Speak in advanced cannabis terminology

As soon as the first whiff of of a Wannabe Weed Guru is smelt, the best thing to do is stomp out the fire before it grows.

Most people would prefer to see a growers amazing results in living flesh before all-star advice is being shoved down their throat. Nobody in a pot smoking circle wants to hear some ‘brofessor’ ranting on about their insane grow, hyping up the superior quality, while never having any of that bud to throw down.

Tired of listing to some unsolicited some grow advice at an inappropriate time? Pass over a joint to the transgressor loaded with an scientifically termed question, such as: ‘How do you ensure your soil mix has a high cation exchange capacity?’ Something along the lines of this is usually beyond the breadth of a common wannabes High Times-learned knowledge, and is an effective confusion, ego-drop bomb when combined with the joint hit.

  • Have the ‘weed expert’ roll the joint

You’d be surprised how many marijuana-guru knowledge heads who can’t even simply roll a joint properly. Who on earth is going to listen to a guru professor who cannot roll a fattie up? Nobody… and even through their thick egos, they themselves will realize this.

A genuine WWG (Wannabe Weed Guru) is not complete without shaky hands and bud falling out from the ends of the rolling paper. It’s a no-brainer to see why having a ‘brofessor’ roll up the doobie in front of everyone is an effective WWG prevention strategy.

  • Out-guru the guru

Although a frequent cause of frustration, debating with a ‘King of the dank’ can be easy, because a wannabe always argues with ego, not facts. Try and out-ego an ego-king for a good time. Here’s the trick…

When a liar is boasting how much killer pot they grew ‘that one year’, speak up quickmultiply that number of pounds/kilos grown and boast the resulting sum in a very loud tone. Try to overpower other peoples conversations if the are not listing to you.

Sometimes a hero must wear a dark mask; no matter if you are lying your arse off. The ‘weed guru’ is a living comedy, and someone has to do it better and make a funnier film. Getting out a sound recorder beforehand can capture some hilarious stuff – try it!

  • Surprise dab attack!

So you’ve invited someone into your house, and they are trying to ‘teach you’ about growing the dank… Don’t panic! – Have your just rewards attack stocked and ready!

When the conversation reaches the unbearable – it’s time to bring out some potent cannabis shatter or oil. The stonier the better.

Load the almighty guru a fat one. Don’t shy out, this is your knockout punch. Make sure you tell them your giving them a good big one, and have everyone awaiting their monster hit.

After a minute or more of coughing, without a doubt, 90 percent of Wannabe Weed Gurus will have a dry mouthed smile plastered on their face, forgotten in the fact that they were even going to say anything about growing in the first place.

  • Enjoy the show

Sometimes it is enjoyable to listen to a Wannabe Weed Guru. Get high off some chronic and enjoy a clown, the ‘master of growing’ can be quite funny sometimes – that is, if you don’t have to deal with them for the whole evening.

Sooner than later, the ‘grow expert’ is going to be contradicting themselves left and right, speaking like a intoxicated politician. Sat back from afar, watching this disaster unfold serves for some decent low-class entertainment.

Why do you think reality television does so well? People love watching train wrecks. At the very least, letting the “2 year marijuana veteran” go on and on about how to grow pot correctly may be better than what’s on the boob tube.

Clearly not a WWG
No wannabe here.

▼▼▼ Please share this page to raise awareness of phonies and cheaters. ▼▼▼

3 Comments


  1. // Reply

    Hahahahahahaahahaha…so true Bradda, so true 😉

    “Be like dat, be like dat, tell me why it always gotta be like dat” – The Pharcyde

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