Ages 21+ only.
April Fool’s Day is here, but these dank weed strains aren’t fooling you. Take a look at these funny strain names + get seeds below. Cringe warning!
Funny Weed Strains
1. Cat Piss
Cat Piss is a pot strain straight from the Puna district in Big Island, Hawaii. Seen firsthand this weed is great quality indica buds. Overpowering stench of urine. There are many ‘colorful characters’ in the Puna area with Cat Piss… it just adds to the mystery of what really makes that “cat piss” smell.
You hear stories about fellas who use their own fresh urine as a pot fertilizer, but real deal Cat Piss has nothing do with that – or cat piss. At least you hope anyways…
The current cannabis scene seems to call Cat Piss a sativa dominant strain originating from a Super Silver Haze, but that’s not the one Hawaii has. The Hawaiian Cat Piss is a mostly Afghani plant, clearly indica dominant, probably crossed with a Diesel at some point and inbred from there. Locals and newcomers in the area love this strain, as it’s a mold resistant indica that can be grown in one of the rainiest areas of the world.
Cat Piss Seeds?
If you want to get a hold of real deal Cat Piss, you may have find it yourself. It’s a popular strain grown in Hawaii.
2. Blue Balls
The outdoor/guerrilla cannabis grower surely knows about Blue Balls. You too may have experience with Blue Balls – the pot strain.
If you like blueberries and you love balls, this strain is for you. Blue Balls is a numbing cross between the all-star strain DJ Short’s Blueberry and the classic Chemdawg. One wonders where the “balls” in Chemdawg come from. One of the great mysteries of cannabis.
This hybrid’s effects are described as relaxing and sedative. Potent with mixed heady sativa and heavy indica effects. Having Blue Balls doesn’t seem so bad after all ;). Good luck finding a clone.
Worth nothing that Blue Balls is not directly related to the other familiar “ball” strain, Purple Monkey Balls (GDP x Afghan).
3. Chuck Norris Black and Blue Dream
If you’re looking for a strain with some kick to it, well look no further. Chuck Norris Black and Blue Dream kills two stones with one bird. There used to be a street named the same, but it was changed because nobody ever crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
A select phenotype of the famous Blue Dream strain, Chuck Norris Black and Blue Dream is somebody’s clever joke and marketing tactic. Blue Dream was and always will be a legend in West Coast cash cropping for its productive size/yield capabilities and high quality fruity buds.
Rising to popularity early 2011, the “Black and Blue Dream” gained recognition in LA dispensaries. Although the meme-legend himself never approved the use of his name for this strain, apparently no legal actions were taken. Many dispensaries now are careful in marketing strains that could present potential problems to their business.
“Chuck Norris Black and Blue Dream” is hilarious in every way. Can anybody even compete with Chuck Norris buds? Seems like unfair marketing to me LOL.
4. Donkey Dick
Another one of Hawaii’s famed pakalōlō strains, Donkey Dick is a big fat single cola bud plant. This tubular plant has earned the name Donkey Dick for its characteristic large and thick structure. Hence the name.
Most say that the original Big Island Donkey Dick is a type of Skunk variety that has acclimated to the Hawaiian climate. Outdoors & indoors, these indica dominant plants can yield very heavy, especially when given a long vegetative cycle. About 8 weeks flowering.
You can do some digging and find some Donkey Dick clones or seeds around. Seeds were available years ago by a few different breeder companies, the Hawaiian Donkey Dick strain you can find around locally.
5. Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien
Whatever this strain’s name means, something or someone’s spaced-out. Is this a “really high guy” meme? Either way “Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien” is H-O-T🔥 in legal dispensaries across the USA.
Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien is a cross between a Tiger’s Milk and Starfighter cannabis strains (Neither of which are popular). Brought to you by Exotic Genetix, this strain is one communities’ unique space-age chronic. Worth getting a hold of.
Indica dominant, and with a strong effect. Users describe Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien as relaxing, euphoric, bordering psychedelia. This ‘far out’ indica is famed for its high THC content, confirmed over 21%. Enjoy a gift from the stars with your favorite Crouching Tiger Hidden Alien strain!
6. Charlie Sheen
Yes, you read that right. Charlie Sheen, also known as Charlie Sheen OG is a strain of pot. Two and a half thumbs up for this one.
Charlie Sheen is a hybrid cross of the cannabis strains OG Kush, Green Crack, and Blue Dream. All winners, all-star dankies. The hard-hitting indica qualities of these strains come out and pack a punch, and what makes it even harder is the over 20% THC levels the Charlie Sheen strain contains. The crazy effects are hinted at in the name of this strain.
Indica 70%/Sativa 30%. Charlie Sheen is highly reviewed for its premium quality top-shelf buds, potent with a lemon and pine aroma. Flavors are comparable to a sweet kush strain.
You can find the Charlie Sheen strain in clone form if you are lucky. Seeds on the other hand, are hard to come by – with no marketed ‘Charlie Sheen’ cannabis seeds available. You can get the parents and make your own Sheeny genetics.
7. Brown Bomber
Brown Bomber is a strain of cannabis made famous from the American comedy film Grandma’s Boy. Brown Bomber’s super-potent knockout effect takes on therapeutic cleansing vibrations. Simply put, “When you smoke this, you’ll sh*t your pants.”.
The “Brown Bomber” name is likely Hollywood fiction. Have you ever tried a strain with such a crappy effect? Let us know in the comments!
“I don’t want any of the brown bomber, I already sh*t my pants this week.”
8. Grand Daddy Purp
Grandpa’s got that super chronic – and it’s the purp! Grand Daddy Purp’s full-bodied indica stone may have you lost in Parkinson’s world. Super stoney!
Ken Estes takes credit for the Grand Daddy Purp strain & name. How much of this is true is not clear, but the strain his company (also named Grand Daddy Purp incidentally) produces is no doubt quality next-level cannabis. It’s funny how the company writes their product descriptions… like their strains are holier than holy, but once you know the GDP you’ll love it.
GDP for short, is a short-in-stature, average growing strain that is easily outperformed by other top strains. But wait! The lowered yield per plant doesn’t stop growers from loving this strain. Quality is the name of the game. GDP’s aroma is heavenly; fragrant floral and sweet, while the buds are frosted with resin and full sized. Bag appeal straight drop-your-jaw dank.
Grown in the humid Hawaiian rainforest, Grand Daddy Purp (a indica-dom) held up to mold (botrytis) and other outdoor conditions better than some of the most popular modern cannabis hybrids (including certain sativa-doms). If you’re lucky you can find GDP seeds in stock online.
Original Grand Daddy Purp:
9. Cheesy Dick
If Donkey Dick isn’t enough for you, Cheesy Dick, or better yet Dick Cheese, is just what you need in your life. Yes, the Cheesy Dick strain please.
Jokes aside, Cheesy Dick buds are the danky indicrip: large, dense and lumpy, with a pungent cheesy aroma. Cheesy Dick is good for relaxation. The hard & heavy indica Dick Cheese stone will knock you flat on the couch. Expect red eyes, munchies and dry mouth.
“Cheesy” refers to the strain’s parent Big Budda Cheese, and the “Dick” comes from the other parent, Moby Dick. This Cheesy Dick hybrid is super quick flowering (~56 days) and is almost purely indica. 95% Indica / 5% Sativa. Give the Cheesy Dick a chance!
Get the Seeds:
10. Justin Bieber Kush (JB KUSH)
I didn’t know if Cheesy Dick and Justin Bieber Kush happened to be the same thing or not, so more research had to be done. Turns out however that JB Kush, big in ’11, is an indica-dom hybrid, created by a Canadian breeder/company named Dank Depot.
JB Kush comes from the streets of Toronto with a slogan, “To help you get through those tough times with your loved one, and make you closer.” Whether you like the artist this strain is named after or not, saying you have “Justin Bieber Kush” or “JB Kush” is pretty funny.
The JB Kush strain tests up to 17.5% THC with low CBD levels. It’s most likely another variation of the infamous OG Kush, slapped with pretty boy stardom.
The Biebster himself has not commented on the use of his name for a cannabis strain, although some sources say that he’s angry…. Is it too late now to say sorry?
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